How often do you have relevant discussions with your partner?
We know that “two cannot work together except they agree.” And from time to time, we are reminded that “communication is key to a happy marriage.”
If it’s been a while since the two of you have really talked, or you have an instinct to bring up some topics that seem overlooked because they aren’t always part of the day-to-day chit-chat, these 6 important discussions to have with your husband/partner, are a great place to start.
1. The Things That Make You Happy
Do you know the things that truly bring him joy?
Maybe he loves his morning run or a hot cup of coffee.
Or it could be going to the movies with you and the kids, Saturday hangouts with his buddies or a trip out of town every now and then.
And for you, is he aware that a trip to the boutique is your happiness dose; that you still fancy a night out with the girls, or that you wouldn’t mind taking a mum-cation every once in a year or so.
It seems so simple, but in the seemingly unending bustle of minding work and running the home, it’s easy to lose sight of not only our own needs but also our significant other’s needs. Have a chat about the things that truly make you happy and discover the same about your spouse.
Once learned, whatever it is that brings your spouse feel joy and satisfaction should become a priority for both of you.
2. The Money Talk
Financial stress is said to be the number one cause of divorce. It is important that this should be part of your discussions.
Therefore, you want to do whatever it takes to find out whether you are really on the same page on this.
What are your spending styles? Any debt, if so, how much?
What investments do you have? Do you have access to any important financial information in case of an accident or emergency?
Is there a possibility that you two might end up operating a joint bank account?
Even if you’ve never explicitly talked about money, you probably already have a vague idea of how much he earns and how he likes to spend a paycheck. It’s crucial to have a conversation to have.
Plus, if you talk about money regularly and openly, without judgment or criticism, it won’t be a topic that causes stress and tension.
Discuss your weekly spending, your plans, savings, previous debts, and financial goals. And if need be, attend a financial education seminar or webinar together, from time to time.
3. Your Parenting Styles & Family Goals.
Is it your intention to have kids one day? When? How many? How would you raise them?
Does your husband/partner share these ideals with you?
Each of us has different ideas of what a family should look like and what we want ours to look like.
Have you had the discussion to know if you’re both on the same page?
If yes, well done. However, continuously revisiting your parenting styles, objectives, and thoughts on things like discipline, education, activities, and all of that, can be so important in building a family with someone.
It could come in handy when as the children get older, they identify your individual parenting styles may choose one parent over the other, in which case, it’s easy to start to feel a little left out.
But knowing that you’re on the same page about the important parts will help alleviate any fears and solidify your bond as parents, together.
4. Your Pet Peeves
From time to time, arguments spring up. It happens to the best of us. It doesn’t mean that you’re no longer in love or that your marriage is doomed. It’s just something that’s bound to happen occasionally between two adults who live together.
But then, research shows that most of these fights come from little irritations that build up over time.
The very ones that we don’t deal with right away because they seem too trivial to raise dust for, or because we just don’t have time.
But then, when it happens repeatedly, that resentment builds up until it finally explodes.
And more often than not, the little things that drive us crazy and drive wedges between us are not done on purpose.
Chances are your partner may not even realize that a particular thing bothers you so much. If something is bothering you, bring it up gently.
Tell your partner/husband how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way.
Don’t let resentment build up. You could start simply say, “I feel bad about…” and explain your displeasure.
5. Your Dreams and Goals
Having relevant discussions with your partner/husband about your individual dreams and goals in life will not only give you insight into each other’s aspirations, but also the opportunity to support your partner as they move towards achieving their goals, and vice-versa.
It will help you both make better decisions together because you understand what is important to each other and where you both want to be.
So, be it buying a house, financial stability, planning to apply to Ph.D. programs all over the country, or plans to quit your jobs and travel for a year? These things must conversations you should have early-on.
Long-term goals should also feature in the discussions. At what age does your spouse want to retire?
Do you plan to stay in your home when your children are grown or move to another country? Keep these things handy and work together to stay on the same page.
Be sure to discuss changes when they occur too.
6. The Sex talk
What’s the other reason couples fight? Sex, of course.
Relationship experts think that sexual compatibility can make or break a relationship.
Talking about sex can make a person feel vulnerable and somewhat uncomfortable, but the one person you should be able to talk sex openly with is your partner/husband.
It doesn’t matter if you two have already done the deed a million times, but are you confident you understand each other’s expectations, or are you assuming what your man wants?
Have you read: 8 Ways to Boost Libido,Improve Sex Life
You have a secret fetish you still haven’t shared with him, or maybe you’ve been afraid to tell him you’re intimidated by how often he wants sex.
Have you explained what intimacy means to you and how he can fulfill your emotional and physical needs?
Also, there will be times in your relationship where physical intimacy may be completely off the table: illness, pregnancy, time away from each other, state of mind, and even some medications can mean that sex just doesn’t happen.
Do you know how your union would survive this? Do you know how you’d be able to work through it?
Whatever may be the case, be as open and as non-judgmental as possible during the discussions.
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