For most people, courtship and the early months of marriage are the sweetest. After which the spark starts dying down causes a strain on the marriage.
So how do you deal with that and keep the spark in your marriage? Read on to find out:
1. Acts Of Service
Acts of service can help spark the fire in your marriage. It’s an avenue for couples to come together and can even spark conversation. Volunteer, help out/ do chores together. At all times, you need to work together as a team.
After all, chores have no gender roles.
Service is a gift, and one worth giving.
This perhaps is the reason it’s very crucial is for one to be true to him or herself, to avoid asking the question “was this what I signed up for?
But if you build your union on the basis of friendship, if you marry your friend, it will help you understand each other better and develop a stronger bond because things will change definitely change.
There’ll be pressure from work, society, family members when the children start coming too, and this will drain energy from the two of you.
Failure to realise this will cause issues in any marriage.
The key is to understand your spouse and work together as a team.
Love is not enough; respect and friendship are important.
The spark will surely go down but you have to be intentional about ensuring the spark is still there.
2. Do Not Lose Yourself In The Marriage
Mums should remember that there’s more to them than being a wife or a mother. You’re also an individual.
So, find time to always be the best version of yourself, because a lot of people are looking up to you; your spouse inclusive.
It’s not that exciting if ‘motherhood’ all there is to see about you.
Fulfill your responsibilities, but make time for yourself and your self-care.
3. Seek Help
Get help, hire help, ask for help, and learn to accept help.
If you’re tired, say so to your spouse rather than be grumpy and resentful.
Learn to outsource what you can.
Pay for your comfort.
Not extravagance, but let your money work for you, pay for the comfort you can afford because the “most hardworking mum in the world” award is still non-existent.
4. Have A Monthly Review Of Your Expenditures
In addition to everything else., this will create an avenue to talk, (effective communication), bridge the communication gap and promote togetherness.
Which can strain the marriage spark.
In marriage, there’s no topic off the table. Besides, the more open conversations you have with your spouse, the more your chances of securing the close bond and spark in your relationship.
Talk about finances as a couple, in-laws visiting/living in with you, household errands, grocery shopping, living location, school runs, cooking patterns, etc.
Have those difficult situations.
In fact, the more difficult the conversations, the better.
Talk about it all and better still, have it written down somewhere to refer to it periodically—see what’s working, what has changed, what could be adjusted, etc.
It is very important for a sustainable union because marriage is the coming together of two entirely different people with different ideologies, cultural values, levels of exposure, temperaments, etc.
5. Be Deliberate
Be intentional about getting keeping the spark in your marriage, put in the work. Spend quality time with your spouse and kids (if you have).
In marriage, the peace and benefits will depend on the efforts you out in today. Always think long-term. Do not keep things from your spouse.
Also, it helps to tell your spouse about your moves before you make them. Remember, you’re a team now.
Even when you think they won’t approve, still tell them. they are a few things that can threaten the spark in your marriage as secrets and silence.
6. If It Comes Down To It, Use A Timetable
In marriage, there’ll always be a table to wipe, a diaper to change or a dish to make.
Therefore, plan your time to protect the spark in your marriage.
If it calls for you to use a timetable to schedule most things, please do so.
Just don’t become nonchalant about keeping the fire burning in your marriage.
Here is another article people read so much: 8 Ways to Boost Libido, Improve Sex Life
Take showers together, go on date nights, take the kids to stay with a trusted friend or relative on some weekends, send a text to each other during the day, with updates on what is going on e.g., “I have arrived at the office” “had lunch?” “babe, my meeting just ended, I’m headed home now, see you soon.”
It’s in the simplest and most inexpensive of things like sending a selfie to your partner with a note “see how stressed out your baby looks. Hope you’ll have my time tonight?”
Set the tone, create a welcoming atmosphere.
In addition, teach your kids from an early stage to always knock before they enter mummy/daddy’s room.
That way, they grow up knowing you sometimes have your private moments, and they’ll grow up learning to respect that.
At the end of the day, it boils down to communication.
Communication can break barriers, melt hearts, it can turn a marriage around for good.
And lack of communication can destroy a family.
Talk through it all and see the spark in your marriage wax stronger and stronger.
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