To raise responsible sons, you have to be a good disciplinarian and role model. As a dad, you must be present and pay attention to your children’s needs without being too strict or too much of a softie, the list is quite long.
Need practical tips on how you, as a dad, can raise responsible sons, here’s what you must do:
1. Make Time. Be Present
This is the first step any dad serious about raising responsible sons should deeply consider.
Do your best to make time for your kids. It gets easier from there.
Bear in mind that children don’t fully comprehend and so, won’t care much if you’ve just signed a big deal at work, bought a company, or whether or not you drive the most expensive car in the estate.
What they do care about is whether or not you’ll be home in time for dinner if you’ll take them to Rufus and Bee on Saturday, the movies on Sunday; if they can count on you when they need your help with homework.
If you want to raise responsible sons, then you have to set aside time every day for your children or at least every week, no matter how busy you are.
let this time reflect in your schedule.
Maybe your best nights for your children are Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.
If so, take the time to put in extra care during those days, and don’t let other commitments get in the way.
If you have more than one son, endeavor to make time for each child individually, so your unique relationships can develop. Who says, dads and sons cant go on dates? Shhh… this is a top bonding secret for dads and sons. Don’t tell anyone! Try this and thank us later.
2. Be There For The Milestones
Though making “daddy time” for your kids each week is a great way to strengthen your relationship which is necessary for raising responsible sons.
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Also, it is important for you to try to be there for milestones in their lives.
Organise your work schedule so that you can be there for your boy’s first day of school, their first big sporting event, graduation day, etc.
Your children will remember these moments for the rest of their lives, and having you around will certainly mean a lot.
It may not be convenient on some of such days, but if you miss out, you might regret it later on.
3. Lead By Example
If raising responsible sons is what you’re set out to do, then your motto should be, “Do as I say and as I do. This ensures that your children don’t consider you hypocritical when you teach them right from wrong.
If you want your son to act a certain way then they should see and you model the positive behavior first.
For example: If you don’t want your sons to smoke or drink excessively, then you shouldn’t do these things in front of them (or at all).
If you want to be a good role model, then you have to treat the children’s mother or wife with kindness and respect.
Let your children see you praise their mother and give her the love and respect that she deserves.
If you want your sons to be domesticated, then let them see you help out around the house, too, no matter how time-consuming your job may be.
For example, let them see you do the dishes occasionally and they’ll grow into the habit of helping out too.
If they think that cleaning the home is just mum or the house help’s job, then they’ll be less likely help out when the time comes.
4. Teach Your Sons The Important Lessons
These include learning how to complete the basic everyday tasks like brushing their teeth properly, using the bathroom, riding a bicycle, and driving a car when the time comes.
You can and should also teach your sons how to shave and maintain good hygiene.
How to set goals, manage time, be emphatic, and resourceful members of society.
Teach them also to admit and learn from their mistakes.
If they’ve done something wrong, you should help them see why and talk about how to avoid the behavior in the future rather than simply punishing them and moving on.
Too many men these days seem to go through life just reacting to what is happening around them.
We all know that children tend to be reactive to the moment, but part of becoming a man is making choices based on key values, even before a situation arises.
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If you can bring yourself to make the sacrifice in these formative years, your boy(s) will need you to learn the big life lessons as well as the small everyday tasks.
Take time in your family nights to talk about their careers and emphasize the need for planning and preparation.
As they begin to see the impact of setting goals and planning, they will develop an essential skill of manhood, and grow up responsible.
5. Be A Fair Disciplinarian
Being a disciplinarian is not all about punishing your children when they’ve made a mistake.
Enforcing discipline is also about rewarding them when they’ve done something good so that they’re encouraged and want to make that behaviour a habit.
Whether they’ve aced a test, showed maturity by walking away from potentially bad behavior or act, or helped a younger sibling with a task, do not fail to let them know just how proud you are of them.
Buy them a new toy, or whatever you can to let them know how much you appreciate their good behavior.
Although giving your children a treat or a new toy when they’ve behaved well can occasionally reinforce good behavior, toys or treats shouldn’t be the only incentive your children have for acting well.
Never make giving gifts or treats a norm anytime they do something that is expected of them, like doing chores around the house or cleaning up after themselves.
Balance is key.
Also, punish your children appropriately. Being a fair disciplinarian means you’ll have to punish your children when they’ve made a mistake.
However, it doesn’t mean getting physically or psychologically cruel. What you are trying to register is that there are consequences for poor actions.
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Besides, once your child is old enough to reason, they should know when they’ve done wrong.
You must also discuss and have an understanding with your spouse about the house rules and what the next steps are for your child’s character development.
Make sure that you and madam agree on the appropriate punishment for the children.
The consequences should be the same, whether Mummy or Daddy witnessed the action, to keep you from reaching a “good cop, bad cop” situationship.
6. Be Consistent
“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson (The Rock)
The Rock has said it all.
Being consistent in the habit of showing up for them, instructing, teaching, and guiding your boy(s) will surely bring about the result of having raised responsible sons.
Being consistent also cuts across having a system of punishments and rewards.
For instance, if your son is misbehaving, the consequences should be the same every time they do, even if it’s inconvenient or you’re tempted to sweep it under the rug.
Likewise, when he does something great, don’t forget to make them feel special, no matter how tired you are.
If you don’t act consistently, your child/ren will know that your reactions can be influenced by your moods.
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