Running a home where you have realistic expectations of a husband who knows what is expected of him is, is the dream of many.
That said, here are 5 important roles your husband should begin assuming in your home.
1. The Role Of Partner
That he is your husband directly means he’s your partner.
This means he ought to assume the role of discussing realistic expectations because his upbringing and understanding of the expectations of a husband might be different from yours.
Do not presume that you have the same expectations, as you may find out the hard way –through arguments. So, have a sit-down and talk it over.
What are the things you’ll like assistance on to keep up within the home?
What are the responsibilities in your home?
If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, others may take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves.
They can assist in putting dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after they are finished using them.
Another thing they can help with is emptying the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc.
Make him understand that housekeeping is not as simple as it sounds.
He may not have the basic skills to accomplish all the cleaning tasks or even know what they are.
Teach him. And if you’ve never organized a house, done shopping for food and household essentials, cooked or cleaned up because your mother/help did all these things, ask for his help and work out a solution together.
2. Real-time Helpmate
Did you know that according to the Pew Research Poll, sharing household chores ranks as the third-highest issue associated with a successful marriage, behind only unfaithfulness and good sex?
The reality is that running a home, raising children, is a chore that requires one to have ‘a village’ to adequately handle; especially if you’re a working mother.
Technology or not, you cannot completely replicate yourself while at work, and so, may have to may pay for childcare and even a cleaning service, but that is still not enough.
Therefore, your husband has to come in to help out at home.
It is no longer enough to just ‘man’ the meat and drinks for the occasional festivities.
Having a partner means having someone recognise when you are exhausted/overwhelmed, and taking the initiative to help out.
Studies show that the only thing that is more difficult than being a single parent and having to do it all by oneself while someone watches from the couch.
It just sprinkles anger to the tiredness.
3. Emotional And Financial Support
Another important role your husband ought to be assuming in your home is that of being a financial and emotional rock.
He is to work closely with you to provide emotional and financial support for the children, provide appropriate monitoring and discipline, and most importantly, remain a permanent and loving presence in both you and his children’s lives.
Now, the term ‘provision’ goes beyond just finances. In fact, this is the chief reason many husbands are left insecure and confused when their wives start earning an income as well; sometimes even more than theirs.
Your husband should also be concerned about the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of his family.
A major realisation that you can make him come to is that, in addition to money, there are other currencies that he is called upon to provide in the home.
Protecting your family goes a bit beyond being in charge of opening the door when someone knocks at night, being the master of the house’s alarm system, and shutting the house down before bed.
It goes beyond beating up the guy next door if he insults his wife.
You should also read: How Dads Can Raise Responsible Sons
Part of it is having his wife’s back, even if it means protecting her from his own family. Protection also extends to taking care of your emotional needs.
And being conscious of how he speaks to you, his wife; striving to protect your self-esteem. Like it or not, he has the power else can make you feel like a supermodel regardless of the stretch marks and sagging breasts.
An important part of being a husband is taking the leadership initiative. It is realizing that he is no longer alone.
He now has a team that needs to be guided and protected from disunity. And efficient teams need to be led with a servant-leader attitude.
Contrary to modern belief, females do not want to wear pants in the family.
In fact, studies indicate that despite the strides that women have made economically, most do not want to be their families’ leaders.
Many women want their husbands to lead. Even better, men don’t want to be led by their wives.
So, give him the necessary tug not to take the lead initiative when there are problems in your family.
Help him get in the game and create the kind of family you want instead of wasting time whining about your family’s situation.
Don’t forget: you will get the family you create, not the one you think you deserve.
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