Unfortunately, less is said about this difficult experience a mother goes through when it is time to leave her new baby and return to work.
Often, you are thrown between dealing with the separation anxiety and wrapping your head around the fact that your babe is with someone else; someone who might not get them or care deeply enough.
Also, a mum coming out of maternity leave often has this anxiety of finding someone to trust enough for the role in the first place.
Not to add more undue panic, here are 5 ways to handle returning to work without nanny stress.
1. Act Warmly
Typically, your baby will start to notice a difference between you and other people at around four months of age.
Also, around this time or after, they may start to show signs of discomfort around those they don’t know.
Stranger anxiety and separation anxiety often begin around the same time and can trigger similar reactions in your baby.
Unfortunately, this is about the period that your maternity leave ends.
But you can soothe your baby’s fear by acting warmly and modeling a safe relationship with the nanny.
In addition, your baby will also begin to take cues from you and your behaviour.
This means that if you act distant or nervous around someone, your baby may interpret your actions and also be uncomfortable around the person.
2. Request References
After conducting let’s say the phone interview, and ascertaining what you want, exploring a candidate’s credentials in greater detail is necessary. Ask him or her for a list of references.
This should include previous families that the nanny has worked for as well, an agency they are signed to.
It may also include other employers from any other place they’ve worked before, regardless of the type of work.
You should also request personal referees, such as friends or family members.
Prepare a list of questions to ask these individuals so you don’t forget any important one, and pay attention to how enthusiastic the person seems to be.
If the individual give you dodgy vibes or seem to be holding back details, explain the importance of finding the right nanny for your child before thanking them for their cooperation.
3. Spend Time With Your Baby And The Nanny Together
As your maternity leave comes to an end, this will help you a lot.
To have a feel of how it might be when you leave for work, and to help you and baby adjust better.
Getting familiar with the nanny while they take care of your child ahead of time will help calm your nerves and help you stress less when you’re away.
You might have the nanny come over ahead of time, before the first babysitting shift, just to familiarise themselves with your baby and your home.
Bear in mind that you most likely will be charged for this session, which is fine. It’s their time, after all.
4. Build A Friendship With Your Nanny
For somebody who would be in your home, in charge of your baby, I’d say taking it a notch further to establish some sort of informal relationship, sounds like a smarter choice.
This is why before you hand the offer letter to someone to resume the role, consider if he/she is someone you can get along really well with.
Is he/she an individual who is honest? Does he or she has a good heart? Is the nanny someone your instincts accept, regardless of what their paper qualifications say.
Also read: Postpartum Recovery Tips After Vaginal Birth
Someone who will never use the fact that their salary’s been a bit delayed or you had a difficult conversation with to start doing their job with less commitment.
You’d stress less about the safety and welfare of your baby while you’re at work if your nanny is someone you know beyond their services.
Someone that would not have a problem watching a couple more minutes on the days you’re running late.
Go All Out For Them
It should also be someone that will help when they can, should you have an emergency.
Now, how all this works is that when push comes to shove, ensure that you too can go all out for them.
If your nanny is going to stretch their neck out for you, you should consider doing the same for him or her if the request comes up.
If she needs to travel or ask for a day off, let them have it. On some days when you get back early from work, offer to help her out.
In fact, make sure you do plenty of favours for her because the happier she is the happier you and your children will be.
Everybody knows this.
A nanny will give their best to the family that really seems to understand them and accommodate their needs.
5. Trust And Let Go
In the end, only time can prove to you that your baby is truly safe and okay with their new nanny.
Stressing over it truly wouldn’t do any good or make that much of a difference. Just do your best, get to know your nanny better, trust and let go.
In no time, you’ll learn that the worries are more in your head than reality.
Truth is, managing parental anxiety around nannies is a hard experience for just about every parent; be rest assured you’re not alone.
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