Yes, we get it. Finding the right nanny is by no means an easy feat. This is why before you decide to let your child’s nanny go, the reasons must truly be worth it.
As difficult as the decision might be, this article will highlight some red flags that show that its time to let that nanny go:
1. Overstepping Boundaries
Ideally, your nanny should feel like a part of the family. But then, even families need boundaries to coexist and function properly.
If you’re feeling taken advantage of, overshadowed, or taken aback by your nanny’s role in your family system, set up a meeting to re-establish expectations and boundaries.
If your rules aren’t met and the overstepping continues regardless, don’t wait to be told: Sis, it may be the sign to know it’s time to let your nanny go.
2. They Omit Important Details
Communication is key to any balanced relationship, and your nanny is the eyes and ears of your family in your absence.
This means that if she is in the habit of forgetting important details like your child’s feeding or sleeping routine rather than let it cost you your peace of mind, please let her go.
You hired a nanny to make your life easier, not raise your blood pressure, please.
3. They Create More Chaos
Arriving late, picking your calls/showing up only when they feel like, is definitely a red flag, one you shouldn’t allow to fly for too long.
Your nanny’s purpose besides keeping your kids happy and looking after them is to smooth out your wrinkles and lighten your load.
If you notice they are tardy, i.e., you always notice your house is messier than when you left it, homework is seldom completed, or it is often one thing or another that you have to clean up after them, it’s simply not worth it to hold on to this relationship.
Tick tock, tick-tock.
4. Their Discipline Approach Drastically Differs From Your Own
Does your discipline approach include you not yelling at your children? Do you permit spanking? Withholding their phones/gamepads? etc.
Whatever your approach, chances are you’ve tried and tested your discipline style and decided it works for you.
If you observe or your children inform you that their nanny is too harsh or way softer than yours, that’s a sure sign to call your nanny to order.
It’s time to take the next steps if she remains adamant about doing things her own way.
It’s important you do so because children thrive off of consistency and cohesion.
Therefore, it’s imperative that your nanny follows your lead and respects your parenting style.
5. Stealing. (Money, Personal Belongings, Food, etc.)
If you simply can’t shake off the feeling that whenever your nanny comes around a thing or two are missing from your home.
Check-in with yourself before his/her next arrival or when you arrive home to make sure.
If confirmed that the missing items are due to their presence, that is a clear sign that it’s time to let them go.
Before you do, however, confront them first and then know the next line of action to take depending on the severity of the crime.
Trust your instincts if you think your nanny is stealing, but try to gather some proof first before accusing or letting them go.
6. You Notice An Unpleasant Change In Your Child’s Behaviour
Under the care of a good nanny, your child will grow to be happy and healthy.
But when the reverse becomes the case, chances are that there will be an unpleasant change in your child’s behaviour.
Does their energy or attitude change after time spent with the nanny?
Are they seeking more attention, acting out, or flouting your instructions?
Observe these behaviours, their consistency, and persistence, and they will give you all the answers you need.
This can also manifest in your child being regularly unhappy, despite an adequate amount of time they’ve had to adjust to the nanny.
Yet, another reason to consider is you getting multiple bad reviews from friends, neighbours, or your kids.
Yes, everyone has their bad days, but if you’re hearing from multiple sources, on multiple occasions, that your nanny is not performing their duties as expected, it’s worth responding to the smoke signals and putting out the fire once and for all.
7. Use Of Hard Drugs While On The Job Is Cause For Immediate Termination
The day you find unknown drugs or alcohol in your home, is the day you terminate the relationship with immediate effect.
The same goes if you smell drugs or alcohol on your nanny and/or see signs of excess substance use, such as lethargy, bloodshot eyes, or behaviour or appearance that indicates being under the influence or hungover.
8. Suspicion Of Abuse Could Be A Red Flag. You Should Let Your Nanny Go
Even the minutest sign that points towards physical, sexual, or mental abuse of your child is immediate reasons to end your relationship with the nanny.
If you feel it would bring you peace of mind, and not more anxiety, you may want to install a nanny cam at home, but what you must do is not wait for evidence before separating your child from the nanny if you have any reason to think abuse may be occurring.
Therefore, pay attention to mysterious marks or bruises, injuries, or sudden changes in your child’s demeanor whenever they are around the nanny.
These can be signs of abuse, but they may also have other explanations.
Get your child to confide in you or confront the nanny.
Abuse is a serious accusation that should not be taken lightly.
Nonetheless, it’s important to trust your gut –you know your child/ren more than anyone else— even when you don’t have tangible proof.
If something feels off, and you’re struggling to shake the feeling off, it might be best you let them go and set out to look for a replacement asap.
Find other resources on parenting here.