Hiring a nanny in Nigeria is not just about finding someone who can bathe a child or keep them fed. You are inviting someone into your child’s emotional world. The quality of that relationship matters just as much as the tasks your nanny performs.
Many parents only assess a nanny by punctuality, neatness, or how quickly housework gets done. But the most critical question is deeper: Is this person emotionally safe for my child?
Here is how to tell if your nanny is genuinely good with your child, not just “doing the job.”
Your Child’s Emotional Response Is The First Clue
Children may not have the language to describe what they feel, but their behaviour speaks loudly. A child who feels safe with their nanny is more relaxed around them.
You may notice that your child talks freely in their presence, initiates interaction, or seeks comfort naturally.
On the other hand, sudden withdrawal, fear, unusual silence, clinginess, or anxiety around the nanny may signal discomfort. While children can be shy with new caregivers, persistent emotional changes deserve attention. Your child’s emotional response is often the most honest feedback you will receive.
Watch How The Nanny Responds To Your Child’s Emotions
A good nanny does not only manage tasks. They respond to emotions with patience. Observe how your nanny reacts when your child cries, throws a tantrum, becomes stubborn, or feels scared.
A caregiver who soothes, explains calmly, and remains present during emotional moments demonstrates emotional safety. One who shouts, threatens, mocks, or dismisses feelings may complete tasks efficiently but can harm your child’s emotional development over time.
Child development guidance from organisations such as UNICEF emphasises that children thrive best in caregiving environments where they feel emotionally safe and respected. Emotional responsiveness is a core marker of quality care.
Notice How Your Nanny Talks About Your Child
The way someone speaks about your child when the child is not present reveals their mindset. A nanny who speaks with empathy, concern, and understanding is more likely to treat your child well when unsupervised.
If you regularly hear labels like “stubborn,” “bad,” “wicked,” or “troublesome,” pay attention. Labels shape behaviour. A caregiver who sees your child as “a problem” may respond with frustration rather than care.
Observe Boundaries And Respect
A good nanny respects your parenting boundaries and your child’s personal boundaries. They do not use threats, fear, or humiliation to control behaviour. They ask questions when unsure. They follow your discipline preferences and routines.
If your nanny frequently overrides your instructions, uses harsh methods you have discouraged, or disregards your child’s comfort, these are warning signs that go beyond minor disagreements.
Look At How Your Child Behaves After Time With The Nanny
Behavioural changes after time with a caregiver can be revealing. A child who feels emotionally safe often appears calm, regulated, and secure.
If your child becomes unusually aggressive, fearful, withdrawn, or anxious after being alone with the nanny, it is worth investigating gently. These changes do not automatically mean abuse, but they should never be ignored.
Pay Attention To How the Nanny Handles Discipline
Good caregivers discipline without fear. They correct behaviour firmly but calmly. They do not rely on threats, intimidation, or physical punishment.
If your nanny believes fear is the primary tool for control, this approach can undermine the emotional safety you are trying to build at home. Consistency between your parenting style and your nanny’s caregiving style protects your child’s emotional wellbeing.
Observe How Your Nanny Handles Stress
Children can be demanding. A nanny who copes well under pressure is more likely to remain kind when situations become difficult.
Watch how your nanny reacts when your child is tired, crying, or refusing instructions. Emotional regulation in caregivers is a strong indicator of emotional safety for children.
Trust Patterns, Not Isolated Incidents
Everyone has off days. Do not judge based on one small mistake. Look for patterns.
Repeated signs of impatience, harsh language, emotional distance, secrecy, or defiance of your boundaries are more concerning than occasional missteps followed by accountability.
Keep Communication Open With Your Child
Create a home environment where your child can talk freely about their day without fear. Simple questions like, “What did you and your nanny do today?” or “How did you feel today?” invite honest sharing over time.
Also Read: 8 Things To Consider When Hiring A Nanny In The New Year
Children are more likely to report discomfort when they know they will be believed and supported.
When To Take Action
If you notice persistent emotional distress in your child, secrecy from your nanny, defensiveness when asked simple questions, or behaviours that make you uncomfortable, trust your instincts. Emotional safety is not something to gamble with.
You are not being “too much” for prioritising your child’s wellbeing. Changing caregivers when something feels wrong is not failure. It is protection.
Final Word for Nigerian Parents
A good nanny is not just someone who “does the work.”
A good nanny is someone your child feels safe with when you are not there. Skills can be taught but emotional safety cannot be forced.
Your child’s wellbeing should always come before convenience.
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