Co-parenting with an ex-husband can be pretty challenging for many parents who had a bitter divorce or separation.
It’s essential to put your children’s needs first and work together as a team with your ex-spouse.
To achieve this, Fabmumng has compiled a list of Dos and Don’ts you should take cognisance of.
Here is what you should do:
Put your children’s needs first and communicate regularly with your ex-husband about their well-being.
A known Nigerian celebrity who regularly speaks with her ex for the sake of her child is Tonto Dikeh.
Despite her separation from her ex-husband Olakunle Churchill and all the jazz that came with it, Tonto Dikeh has been seen co-parenting their son, King Andre, with Churchill while maintaining their separate relationships.
Involve Extended Families
Keep your emotions in check and maintain a respectful, professional relationship with your ex-husband. Many divorcees make the mistake of allowing their emotions to take a considerable part of them when it comes to child custody.
As the ex-wife or the husband, instead of dwelling on past hurts and negative emotions, focus on the present and the future for the sake of the children involved. Set boundaries but still communicate calmly and respectfully.
Be flexible and open-minded when scheduling and making decisions about your children.
Choose your battles wisely.
Not every issue needs to be fought over.
Decide which points are worth fighting for and which ones are not. This can help to reduce the overall stress of co-parenting.
Create a co-parenting plan and stick to it, including details about visitation, holidays, and important events. Remember, co-parenting is an ongoing process, and it takes time and effort to maintain a positive relationship with an ex-husband.
One must carefully make plans and be disciplined enough to stick to them.
Support your children’s relationship with their father and encourage regular communication and quality time together.
By focusing on your children’s needs and maintaining a respectful and professional relationship, you can create a healthy co-parenting environment that benefits everyone involved.
a) Do not use your children as pawns or weapons against your ex-husband. It is abusive; stop it!
b) Do not make wrong decisions without consulting your ex-husband. It may not end in your favour.
c) Do not speak negatively about your ex-husband in front of your children or others. You devalue yourself by doing that.
d) Do not use co-parenting as a way to control or manipulate your ex-husband. Move on!
e) Do not disrespect boundaries or show up unannounced at your ex-husband’s home or events.
Remember that co-parenting is an ongoing process that requires patience, communication, and compromise. Keep the focus on your children and work together as a team to create a healthy, positive environment for them.
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