Sex is the glue that binds a couple together- Funto Ibuoye

The lovely Funto Ibuoye
The lovely Funto Ibuoye

She is popularly known as the founder of The Beautified Network and the wife of music artiste, GaiseBaba. However, beneath all the fame and spotlight, lies a very humble and unassuming mum-of-one.The beautiful Funto Ibuoye recently welcomed www.fabmumng.com into her cozy home in the heart of Ikeja in Lagos. She spoke on motherhood, sex in marriage and the role of spirituality in a home

 

You are definitely savoring every bit of motherhood. How will you describe the experience?

I think the best word to describe motherhood will be ‘stretching.’ It has made me uncover the strength that I never knew I had. I didn’t know I could do a whole lot of things that I currently do until God made me a mother. Motherhood has been fun and nothing compares to the joy I derive whenever I look and smile at my son.

 

 Following the birth of your son, what are some of the motherhood myths that have been demystified?

I recall putting up a post on Instagram a few weeks post-delivery that there were so many things that nobody told me about motherhood. I was not told that in the first few weeks after being delivered of my son that I’d start crying for no reason. I didn’t know I will be so sleep-deprived and that I will have to beg my baby to go to sleep. Nobody really told me that the first few weeks were going to be challenging. Even though my nanny and my mom in-law assisted me, it still wasn’t as smooth as I wanted it to be. My mum-in-law was around for about 7weeks and she taught me how to bath the baby. She took over whenever I was tired; she would say ‘Funto go and sleep’. In addition, striking a healthy work-life balance was also a challenge for me.

I was not told that in the first few weeks after being delivered of my son that I’d start crying for no reason. I didn’t know I will be so sleep-deprived and that I will have to beg my baby to go to sleep. Nobody really told me that the first few weeks were going to challenging

Funto and her cute son
Funto and her cute son

Were you a career mum at the time?

No, I wasn’t working in paid employment but I was preparing for a conference. Before I gave birth, I used to take long walks in the morning around my estate to commune with God. But, after I had my baby it was tough finding five minutes to pray. It took a while for me to find that balance. When my baby wakes up in the morning, I take care of him, bath and feed him and then he when he sleeps, I can find time to do other things.

 

What form of support did your husband give you?

He was really helpful except at night. I recall that I woke him up on some nights when I was close to tears. He’ll wake up sometimes to help with the baby but I understood the fact that he had had a long day.

The Ibuoyes
The Ibuoyes

You must consider yourself lucky to have such a loving mother in-law    

A lot of people tell me that I am very lucky to have such a wonderful mum-in-law. My mum couldn’t spend much time with me because I have twin siblings who are three years old; she had to take care of them. My mum-in-law is 75 but still very agile.

 What has motherhood really taught you?

Motherhood has really taught me sacrifice and selflessness. As a mum, I find that it’s not all about me anymore. In fact, I have to consciously think about myself first before even thinking of my baby or husband.

Motherhood has really taught me sacrifice and selflessness. As a mum, I find that it’s not all about me anymore

How do you ensure that you pay your hubby enough attention?

I have always made a conscious effort for me to give my husband enough attention. On occasions when I think about my baby more than I care for husband,  I have had to reset my brain to the fact that my husband comes first before my baby. But the truth is that at times, my baby needs more attention than my husband and on those occasions my husband understands.

So how about the home front? Do you find that you have more time for shopping, cooking and household chores?

I have more time now because I have enrolled my baby in a nearby crèche.

At what age did you enroll him in a crèche?

He just started last week; he is 6months going on 7months. Before I enrolled him in a crèche, my whole life was something else; if you came into my house you would meet it in a disarray. I really didn’t care as long as my baby was well fed and fine. When my mom in-law left, I had a maid but you know how these maids are. Something happened and she just had to leave. Finding another maid was difficult and my budget didn’t permit that I hire another maid. I also thank God for the type of husband I have; he also doesn’t have a 9-5job and he’s very supportive. So, when I have training or engagement to attend we all go together.

Okay, so let’s talk about the whole re-discovery because it’s obvious you’ve re-discovered yourself. Why are studying to be an interior designer?

I have always had a flair for interior designing; I once worked with an interior design firm for 3months. I love making people beautiful. No matter where I go to, I always look forward to going back home. That is how a beautiful space should make you feel. Its really difficult to please me when it comes to interior designing.

The Ibuoyes savoring parenthood
The Ibuoyes savoring parenthood

Are you living your dreams?

Yes, am beginning to live my dreams.

Tell us all about the Beautified Network?

I am really passionate about the Beautified Network. I’m always upset whenever I see women with no sense of direction, of purpose. So many women just want to go to school and get married afterwards. Then, you ask, after that, what next? God has instilled several potentials in every one of us, which we can’t allow to lie fallow. I strongly believe that in this season that God is raising an army and most people in this army are women. This because he wants us to rise up; he wants us to step up.

 How long have you been running the Beautified Network?

I began the Beautified network five years ago and we started the Becoming Conference last year.

What future do you picture for the Beautified Network?

It is my dream to buy Bella’s Place which is owned by Mike Adenuga’s daughter and transform it into the Beautified Place. I picture it as a place where women from all walks of life can come and sort out their spiritual, physical, emotional beauty.

Speaking with you, its obvious that you have a strong relationship with God. What role do you think spirituality plays in a marriage?

I can’t overemphasize the role of spirituality in a marriage. You must be connected with God. God created marriage so how do you want to succeed in marriage without getting help from the One who created it? My marriage will be two years in November, but I’ve seen marriages last less than six months and break up for silly reasons. I recall that earlier in my marriage I was quite strong-willed until I asked God to give me wisdom. At times, you can’t really do anything about some things and you just have to rely on God for help because our own wisdom and knowledge is limited. Some people might think that my husband and I are simply putting up a show for Instagram but the truth is we love each other sincerely.

I can’t overemphasize the role of spirituality in a marriage. You must be connected with God. God created marriage so how do you want to succeed in marriage without getting help from the One who created it?

 

You are married to an artiste…

Well, I understand the demands of his profession but my husband is a lot more spiritual than I am. That was a major attraction for me. There are times when we attend an event and people will be like ‘oh I have a crush on your husband’ and I tell them that I also have a crush on him as well. Its not like I know that nothing can happen by God’s grace and I know how much I pray for my husband.

How did you meet your spouse?

We met at an event. I was volunteering for an event in October 2012, which he attended. I was seated at the registration point and our paths crossed for the first time when he came to registration table. Before then I had been seeing him on twitter. So when I saw his name on the list it struck a chord almost immediately. We exchanged pins afterwards and that’s how we started talking.

Did you think you were going to end up with him?

Well, I liked him from that day but we started talking on BBM, I realized that he had a girlfriend. He broke up with her some months later and I was happy. He soon told me that he couldn’t start a relationship because he wanted to focus on God and his career. I recall that I was crying when he told me but we started dating in July. So imagine that I had to wait from December to July.

Funto and son
Funto and son

How did you guys remain chaste until your wedding day?

I think one major thing that kept us was the fact that we both found out that we were both in a covenant of purity. We courted for about a year. I had vowed not to have sex before marriage because I was going to lose my destiny. I don’t know where that thought emanated from but I believe it was just God preserving me. The thought always gave me shivers and I knew that I had a great future.

I had vowed not to have sex before marriage because I was going to lose my destiny. I don’t know where that thought emanated from but I believe it was just God preserving me. The thought always gave me shivers and I knew that I had a great future.

 

So there was no romance?

We didn’t have sex. But, if you ask me if we kissed I will say yes we did and it almost led to some other things. But God kept us from committing fornication.

 

What role do you think sex plays in a marriage?

I think sex is like super glue that binds a couple together on a marriage. I don’t know how to explain it. It makes a couple grow stronger in love. It’s beyond the physical; I believe it’s spiritual. Sex plays a major role in success of a marriage.

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments
  1. Wow!i was really inspired, emotional, learnt a lot and really uplifted…
    God bless the Fabmum
    God bless the Ibuoyes…..

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