Is it really possible to discipline a child without yelling? That is the million dollar question that most mums ask every day. Growing up in Nigeria, the saying “spare the rod, spoil the child” was widely accepted. But this days the story is different as some parents are somewhat clueless on how to go about disciplining their children.
By the way, discipline does not have to always mean punishment as there are a lot of ways we can discipline a child without punishing him or her. Discipline is basically all about helping your child learn how to behave as well as how not to behave. It works best when you have a warm and loving relationship with your child.
As children grow and evolve, so does their behavior. This is why a child who didn’t throw tantrums at two may start at five, and may even give you major attitude at 13. The best way to understand your children’s behavior is to understand what they’re going through developmentally, say experts. This knowledge will help you discipline them without resorting to yelling, threatening or having a meltdown yourself as parent.
Here a few tips to guide you on how to discipline your child without yelling
- Set family Rules: Growing up in my parent’s house, we were guided by rules, not dictatorship kind of rule. We had rules guiding us, and in a way, it stuck with us. We had table rules; we had rules for how we spoke to each other, etc. Example, we knew we were not supposed to chew with our mouth open or even make sounds with our mouth when eating even before we were taught in school, etc. So, as parents, you can make these rules in your house without looking like Hitler, rules like, in this house, we do not hit each other; in this house, we are not allowed to play outside, when everyone else is inside, except mummy or daddy tells you to, etc.
- Follow your rules: it is generally known that children replicate and do what they see, that is, children will take these rules more seriously and live by them, if you as parents, don’t break them.
- Start over: When a child does something the wrong way, instead of yelling or even raising voices at them, let the child start over, and stating clearly what the child did wrong. That way, the child knows he or she can make a wrong right and not just give up.
- Donation: Sometimes make them donate their own belongings, this should be monitored though. For the most severe and perhaps repeat offenses, there is the giveaway. Take one of their favorite things and give it to a child that needs it, or a charity home. Make sure they hand it over themselves.
- Let It Go: You don’t have to punish a child for everything, yes, sometimes, overlook an offence that isn’t much of a big deal. Please, I am not saying you should call the child and give him / her lollypop, no, overlook it. Either act like you didn’t notice or just don’t say anything. This is because, if you constantly have to punish a child for everything wrong they do, even for the littlest offence, they would just zone you out. You scolding or disciplining them will no longer be seen as important.